topNav

Connect with us
facebook twitter LinkedIn

Welcome to Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid

Therapy and sanity for ordinary parents of special kids.

Jessica Simpson’s Fiance Allegedly Tells Her to Slim Down; Shut Up Sisters Virtually Tell Him To Shut Up

Jessica Simpson

Image via Wikipedia

OK, we know this could be a Hollywood rumor, but our trusted sources at the National Enquirer (the tabloid that broke the stories about the John Edwards affair and that the moon was made of cheese) are reporting that Jessica’s Simpson’s fiance, Eric Johnson, has given her an ultimatum: slim down or no wedding. Could this really be true?  We know that Jessica may not be the smartest fish in the school  (recall, she thought that Chicken of the Sea was chicken), but she pretty much embodies physical perfection  and the things guys love most – blonde hair, beauty, boobies, and billions.

Whatever the case,  we can sympathize with her pre-wedding weight battle. Getting fitted for a wedding dress is stressful. It sure was for Gina who had a seamstress who liked to point out her body flaws (all 39,000 of them).

“Miss, you have the biggest rib cage I’ve ever seen in my 39 years of fitting brides.”

She had Gina so worried about her weight that on the day of the wedding, Gina barely ate. “And the bride cuts the pea. The bride cuts the pea.”

Do you think this is true? Did Jessica’s fiance really give her this ultimatum? And more importantly, do you know anyone with a bigger rib cage than Gina?

CIThread pixel

One Response to Jessica Simpson’s Fiance Allegedly Tells Her to Slim Down; Shut Up Sisters Virtually Tell Him To Shut Up

  1. free surveys online to make money February 26, 2011 at 3:22 pm #

    Hi dude! I quite agree with your thoughts. I really appreciate what you’re providing here.

Leave a Reply

Join our imperfect mailing list.

Sign up for our Email Newsletter

I consent to receive your newsletter.