P and G with Sandie and Judy, two of "The Imperfect Housewives of Illinois"
I’ll admit it; I got sucked in again. Not as bad as last time when I literally got sucked into purchasing a $1,000 vacuum. The saleswoman had me at the dust mite demonstration on my bedsheets.
“I don’t know where they came from. I swear I wash my sheets every holiday season.”
Last night, I was taken in by another season of the “Real Housewives” on Bravo TV, where I was virtually transplanted into New York high society.
I’m not sure what it is about these shows, which have virtually taken me to Beverly Hills, Atlanta, New Jersey, Miami, Washington, and Orange County, CA, that continues to lure me in. It’s not because these women are real, because lets face it, many of them have more plastic in them than the Mattel factory. And it’s definitely not because they are actual housewives. I think to qualify for that, you actually have to be in the house or be able to identify a mop in a police lineup. (“Ewwww! What’s that shaggy thing? Clearly, it needs a hairstylist). In fact, the show would be better referred to as the The Mean Never Home Girls of New York City (TMNHGNYC). For the most part, all these ladies do is host fancy parties, jet off to exotic locations, drink wine (OK, that part I like), and rip each other apart. Note: My husband likes that part.
“Ooh Gene look. It’s a catfight! Sa-weet!”
While watching last night’s premiere of the The Real Housewives of New York City, I started thinking that these housewives of fortune would probably find the lives of special needs mothers foreign to them. Imagine (if you would) a Real Housewives series about our lives and having them watch us. Here are a few ideas for shows and what they might say if watching them:
- The Real Housewives of Autism. The fashion critics in them would love that one. “Don’t these ladies own any colors other than blue? Come on!”
- The Real Housewives of Tourette’s Syndrome. “Did her kid just say what I think he said? What kind of bad nanny lets a kid say that.”
- The Real Housewives of Anxiety Disorder. “Wow! And they thought we were bed hoppers. You never know which kid’s bed that mother is going to end up in.”
- The Real Housewives of Non-Verbal Learning Disability. “Did you see the part when her kid got invited to a kiddie ball and brought a ball?”
- The Real Housewives of Oppositional Defiance Disorder. “I can’t believe she picked that boarding school for her kid. They don’t even have any horses.”
- The Real Housewives of Mental Illness. “I thought 9-1-1 was for fashion emergencies?”
What do you think? Would you like to star in one of these shows? What other ideas do you have for shows? I think we’re on to something.
The Real Moms of ADHD—-Why can’t her child sit still? Didn’t he, (she), just fly past me in the opposite direction? Why can’t she control him? What a horrible mother she is for not disciplining her child!
The Real Housewives of Bipolar Disorder. “Wait…… Did I miss something? I thought the kid was just happy?”
LOL!!,,, Sitting here wearing blue *looks around and whistles*,,,,, I have denim,,,,,, but it’s blue too!!! What kind of housewife am I??? :)))) HAHAHAA
Real Moms of Bipolar. “Why is that kid throwing the dining room chairs? He was just laughing right before the commercial break!! What happened? HUH? mom said the word “no”?? that canNOT be the expanation for that behavior, my kids would never do that!!
The real housewives of Type 1 diabetes: I dont care if his bloodsugar is 40 , he doesnt have the right to be rude !
Of OCD ” did you hear that boy ask the same question 200 times? “
Real moms of Aspergers “Did you hear that kid tell his mom that she ruined his life because she wouldn’t buy him that toy? That kid needs some good hard discipline. I would never allow my child to talk to me that way! Oh and did you see that mom chugging water? No wonder the kids so messed up.”
You guys rock! Thanks for giving me a laugh today (and every day)! btw, LOVE the pic!! hehe
The Real Housewives of ADD
I had a point but I can’t remember it…
Love them. You ladies crack us up. G and P
Love them. You ladies crack us up. G and P
…Of ADHD: Kid: Mommy, why can’t we go out to dinner?
Me: Well, because
Kid: Did you say I could watch more TV?
Me: No, I
Kid: When is Daddy coming home?
Me: He’ll be here in
Kid: Where’s my soccer ball?
Me: It’s in the
Kid: Watch this, Mommy, watch me!
Me: Buddy, no, don’t
>Crash<
Scene Two: Explaining to the ER docs exactly how he came to have that lump on his forehead and two finger joints jammed.
Family swap! Those :”Expert parents” can swith places with us and : -teach our kids a lesson
-Show us how they plan to execute the “I’ll fix that kid” plan
-make that kid follow rules
-wash that mouth out with soap (and not get bit)
-manage that kid without meds
– Etc. You get the idea!
The Real Housewives that have ADD!! Kids put your shoes on…no I said brush your teeth..oh, what’s that? I told you to make your beds…why aren’t y’all ready for school? Ok…I need coffee for the road…and sunglasses and what’s that kids?? I’m making y’all late for school? I told you to put your shoes on 39 minutes ago…where are the keys?? Ok…we have 7 minutes 35 seconds to get to school…Jack did you take your pills?? Uh. No! You told me to brush my teeth…I told you to take your pills first! You did? I forgot!